Archive for the ‘Dating Advice’ Category

How to Make the Most Out Cyber Space Dating

Monday, November 3rd, 2008
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What is match dating, you say? These two words made a breakthrough in the field of dating. What used to be long and tedious wait for that someone to approach you and ask for your digits to hopefully lead to a very long-awaited date is made most accessible through match dating. This phenomenal process involves matching two people together considering their compatibility tests. Match dating rids many of the hustle and bustle brought about by the traditional way of acquiring a date. It can be a way for the reprieve of those who get stressed out by the hassle of trying to find someone with interests similar with theirs. Match dating also guarantees that the person you are matched up with is most probably somebody who complements you.

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However, some people that have already signed up on match dating sites may still have a hard time stumbling on that person that will give him or her the date of his or her lifetime. Why? It might be caused by a lot of factors. To resolve such dilemma, here are a few guidelines in making the most out of a match dating site.

High-profile or Low-profile? One key point that may aid in ensuring that the match dating site will be matching you with people that are right for you is to make your profile as accurate as possible. What I mean with accurate is that your profile must actually describe you and your preferences in the best possible way. This could be attained with providing details, i.e., height, complexion, nationality, interests, profession, age, etc., that may further facilitate the matching process. The more detailed your profile is the better and the faster the match dating site will find that most suitable date for you.

Match Compatible. Match dating sites thrive on making people that sign up on their services undergo a battery of tests that will demonstrate who matches with who. Match dating sites prepare various questions that will bring out one person’s real desire and whatever he or she is passionate with. The results of the questions will be corresponded to other people’s test results that will consequently lead to their being matched up. To make sure that this match dating process will turn into a success, one must answer the variety of questions as honestly as possible. Any discrepancy committed by the person hoping to grab a date from a match dating procedure may result to disagreeable matches. Your compatibility profile, which is the upshot of your compatibility test/s will be the key element that will predict who you will be matched up with.

The Real Deal. Those people who will fit your compatibility profile will then be told to you. And most likely, depending on whether how much intervention the match dating site allows for itself, you will be given a chance to get to know more of the person or if you are matched up with several people, you will still have to select the one that you think matches you most. The contact details of that person will either be disclosed to you or the other way around, or either way to allow the two of you some ample time to communicate. If things go smooth between you and that person you singled out, it will really depend on you if you will be able to snag that coveted date (the event, not YET the person) or not. So you see, this is the only time when you will be fussing over the dating troubles. And the difficulty is not even that much compared to the outdated method of date-hunting, right?

Match dating has very good results. Aside from those timid people that match dating sites target, it mainly benefits those looking for a fuss and worry-free way of finding that right person. Who knows? From match dating, yours, like many of those who made the most out of it, may also lead to marriage!

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How to proper use online dating sites

Monday, November 3rd, 2008
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eharmony1.jpgSo…is the usual dating scene getting tedious for you? Tired of preening yourself for hours,  then hit every watering hole in town, just find the ‘One’, but strikeout anyway? The killer lines you possess making you a more of a chump than a charmer? Let’s face it: we can’t all be James Bond. Maybe the traditional approach isn’t for you.

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Not so long ago, the avenue for many lonely hearts was through the use personal ads in their quest for their perfect match. However, with the advances in technology and the internet,  posting in the personal ads are the thing of the past. Now there are online dating sites.

Log on and Dive in

Online dating sites are means for people to find that ‘special someone’ via the information superhighway. Contrary to popular belief, they are not an avenue for sleazy
misadventures. Mind you, Online Dating sites has revolutionized the romantic scene for many adults looking for love. While many others would take the traditional route of hitting every major watering hole in the metropolis and going through the usual games of attraction, hoop jumping, and  putting the best foot forward, online dating site users would rather enjoy the art of conversation via chatting and e-mail; bar rooms have been replaced with chat rooms. It’s a safe, easy, and  inexpensive way to find their partner/soul mate.

Online Dating One-Oh-One

If you are planning to take the information highway to true love, here are some things you should know first:

1) Find a site. – There are thousands upon thousands of online dating sites out there on the internet; Google alone is a sure-fire way to link up. Find one that is right for you. For those who feel that their special someone is in the same country, they’d prefer to keep it local for convenient hooking up. While those who rather think globally choose to transcend international borders. Take your pick. Examples of such online dating sites are  and

Current Offers: – 72 hours FREE trial – 20% off a 6 month subscription. Code: CJSUMMERPROMOAABB. Expiration: Nov 30th 2008

2) Set up a profile. – As Hitch would say: “Go with what you have. If you’re shy, be shy. If you’re outgoing, be outgoing. She doesn’t have to see the whole you all at
once, but she definitely wants to see the real you.” The chief policy for online dating sites is honesty and sincerity, and veteran online daters can spot B.S from a mile away. Remember: you’re looking for true love, not a one night stand. Set up a profile that is attractive yet sincere. Once you set up your profile, then you’re good to go.

3) Collect and select. – The beauty of each online dating site is that are many profiles for you to pick and choose. It’s a smorgasbord of potential life-partners. If some chick states in her profile that she enjoys a Saturday night playing in traffic andunder the influence of ecstasy, then you can ignore her (unless that’s your thing also) and move on to the next. If she has the same interests as you do, then make contact.

All set? Good. Now you can sit back, relax, and begin your search for true love.

A Word to the Wise: Some rules.

Okay, like many things, there is a downside. Like the traditional methods of courtship, there are rules. Online dating is safe, inexpensive; over 99 percent of the
Online Dating sites in the world are very sincere about finding you the perfect partner. But thereare still dangersto contend with.

Anonymity breeds paranoia: what you can’t see might hurt you. There are many kinds of con men and women out there who use internet dating as a means to part unwitting victims of their wealth, some wish to inflict serious bodily harm, and some use it for other forms of  cyber-crimes. Unfortunately, due to the vastness of the World Wide Web, there isn’t an effective way to police each and every e-mail or chat rooms without impinging our right to privacy, so here are a few safety tips when using an online dating site.

1) Never give out your home address – This it THE biggest rule in online dating. When meeting someone online for the first time, one should never give specific details about their location, be it the home address and landmarks. The basic rule of thumb is to correspond with each other through e-mail or chat rooms around 6 or more times until you are confident that he or she can be trusted.

2) Never state anything about your financials – Another big rule for online dating sites. As I said earlier, there are scammers out there on the World Wide Web whose sole purpose is to part you with your money and use online dating sites as a means to that end. The prudent thing to do when your correspondent seems interested in the amount of money you make is to drop him. Here’s one example: If at some point, your correspondent seeks financial aid and
asks if you could lend him some cash, then you should just drop him. It may seem cruel. Hemight be genuine about it, but you shouldn’t take that chance.

3) Listen and verify their stories – What do your potential partners want? Honesty and sincerity. Anonymity breeds paranoia. You do not know who you’re really talking to, so be careful. It may be difficult at first if you’re new to using online dating sites but, given time, you’ll be able to spot the difference between sincerity and plain old fashioned B.S. Just listen to each and every word they say. The advantage of online dating is that one is given time to step back and meticulously process and digest the correspondent’s story.

4) Leave word – When you get to that final stage in your internet courtship in which you arrange an eye-ball, a rule of thumb is to meet in a public area. Always tell a
friend where you’re going and give means to contact you. If you’re a little uncomfortable going alone, bring a friend.

There. Wasn’t that simple? Now go forth, log in to a online dating site, find your perfect match, and ride into the sunset together. Online dating sites are loads of fun, if you know how. It sure as heck beats going out on a Friday Night and striking out. People might find you a  little odd for for using online dating sites, some might think you’re a perv, but who cares?

Just remember: Love could be just a click away.

How to pick up a partner . . .

Monday, November 3rd, 2008
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matchcom.jpgAre you guilty of vetting new dates through their bookshelves? Do you scrunch up your nose at a guy or girl’s choice of reading material? Or have you ever decided you couldn’t possibly be a love match if they don’t feel the same way as you do about your favourite book?

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The books we read say something about us, whether we like it or not. The daily commute is populated with people unwittingly revealing insights into their personalities through their reading choices.

The man on the bus reading David Sedaris is likely to have a fine sense of humour, while the woman reading Love In The Time of Cholera might have romantic sensibilities.

Meanwhile, if you’re spotted reading Proust or James Joyce’s Ulysses on the bus, chances are people will think you’re a bit of a show-off.

Now a new dating site is saving singles the hassle of snooping through potential partners’ bookshelves by putting their tastes in books upfront on user profiles.

Penguin publishers have teamed up with the online dating website (special offer: 72 hours FREE trial) to help book lovers become simply lovers.

Anna Rafferty, Digital Marketing Director with Penguin, came up with the idea for a books dating site when she overheard a conversation about a girl who was disappointed to find an incompatible bookshelf.

“She discovered the guy she had gone on a date with was really into all of these books that she couldn’t bear.

“She felt, you know what, he’s not worth it. It’s absolutely a deal-breaker. And then she thought, if only I’d known that from the start I wouldn’t have even bothered.”

The sentiment gave Rafferty the idea. “Everyone has one book that you just had a huge thunderbolt of love for when you first read it and you connected with it and felt that it resonated with your soul.

“If you met someone else who felt the same way about that book for the same reasons, you’d think, ‘Oh my god, maybe we should get married.'”

The site has been up and running since the end of August and already has 1,000 members and 100,000 visitors, although as of yet, ‘no marriages’ says Rafferty. But what makes the site different to other dating sites — does knowing someone’s taste in books give a deeper insight into the person?

“You can connect deeply with a book,” says Rafferty. “Books are genuinely social currency in a way that boots and sportswear aren’t. And they’re not only a signifier of the kind of person you are — that’s the theory behind the coffee table books and why you put certain books out on display — more than that they can be self- defining and can tap into what your cultural values are and what your core beliefs are.

‘Because books occupy that deeply emotional part of people’s lives, it almost gives permission to be able to talk to people on quite an intimate level. I do think it’s quite an emotional connection.”

In other words, you’re never going to be stuck for conversation.

“Even if you don’t feel that great big, ‘Oh my God, you’re the same person as me,’ at the very least it’s a really good way to start a conversation, even if you hate the book they’re talking about. People have opinions on books, so it’s a great way to get the ball rolling.”

If online dating is not your thing there are still plenty of other ways to meet book-lovers, including your local library, bookshop, reader events or even a book club, although, anecdotally at least, book clubs tend to have a scarcity of male members.

Frances O’Gorman, executive librarian with Clare County Library is on the organising committee of the annual Ennis Book Club Festival in Clare.

Last year they organised a speed dating-style meeting for book club members who had travelled from all over the country for the festival. But there was little chance of romance.

“Well, they were all completely women,” says O’Gorman with a laugh. But the purpose of the speed dating-style meet-up was more to break the ice amongst book club members than to create love stories.

“It’s very difficult to get men to join book clubs, even in a library setting,” says O’Gorman. “Over the years there was only one male member. I do know a group of men here in town who planned on setting up a book club and they talked about it and even chose a first book, but they never actually met.”

Whether through book clubs or online dating sites, reading and discussing books has become a resolutely social experience.

“A big factor is the friendship thing,” says O’Gorman. “Getting to meet people, obviously they’re all readers and love reading, but the idea of just getting together on a monthly basis and creating friendships, it’s a great way of immediately getting to know a group of people.”

Like Anna Rafferty, O’Gorman agrees books offer people an opportunity to discuss issues on a more intimate level that they might otherwise.

“You’re getting to a deeper level really because of the contents of a book or your experiences, things that arise when you’re discussing the book and the themes and topics in it. So definitely, it’s a really good way of chatting to people and getting to know people.”

If that hasn’t got you convinced of the aphrodisiac powers of books, research has highlighted that books and reading are now considered sexy.

“I think it just gets sexier and sexier every year,” says Rafferty. “It goes both ways as well, it’s sexy for men to read, it makes them attractive to women. Books themselves are sexy.”

So, if you want to get sexy, best get reading.


Monday, November 3rd, 2008
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lavalife.jpgToronto, Ontario, October 28, 2008 – As anyone can imagine, being a part of the Military takes strength, courage, passion and dedication. These same traits are also valuable in the women who choose to date or marry men serving their great countries. Lavalife, ( a leader in the singles industry for over 20 years recently spoke with a number of Military wives and girlfriends to hear how they make their military relationships work, and in turn we came up with 5 tips for women ready to date men in uniform.

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Committing to someone who places themselves in the line of fire to serve their country is tough. Because of all the extra hard work involved, the quality of the relationships is different, and some may even say stronger, thanks to the restraints and pressures placed upon them. Of course this isn’t to say that there aren’t benefits to dating someone in the military, or that the difficulties aren’t bearable when you meet the soldier for you.

If you’re ready to make the commitment to being a military girlfriend/wife, here are 5 tips from Lavalife to make sure your relationship stays out of the line of fire.

5 Tips for Dating in the Military
1) Keep lines of communication open
When your partner is deployed, you have to communicate however you can. Emailing is the easiest and most accessible option, but try to chat by phone as much as possible too. Hearing your loved one’s voice on the other end of the line always makes you feel closer. Getting a piece of home is always welcome too, so sending care packages and snail mail letters are always a great way of showing you care.

2) Trust each other
As in any relationship, trust is an ultimate key. Whether your significant other is five or 5,000 miles away, trusting one another fully will insure long lasting strength in any relationship.

3) Value the time you can spend together
For those who do fall in love with military personnel, it’s not all about hardship. In times of peace many soldiers often are able to finish work early and the military tries to plan their operations around the school year so that personnel can spend as much time with their families as possible. Use this time to plan a romantic weekend away or take a fun vacation with the family.

4) Be independent and learn to take care of yourself
It’s important to redefine your idea of “partnership” and be able to stand on your own for long periods of time while your other half is on duty. Your boyfriend/husband will feel better knowing that you will be okay while he is away serving the country.

5) Build a solid support network of friends and family while your loved one is away
“I am very close with the wives and girlfriends of the deployed soldiers from my boyfriend’s unit. While the men are gone, we all stay very close. We help each other. We support each other. And we take care of each other when one of us needs it,” says Mikki Glass, a New Yorker who is dating a First Sergeant in the US Army.

Dating someone in the military isn’t going to be everyone’s idea of a good time, but with the right attitude plenty of happy couples make it work just fine.

About Lavalife
Lavalife is ranked the #1 website for online dating in Canada* and is ranked among the top 10 worldwide dating sites.** A leading provider of products and services designed for singles, Lavalife connects, engages and entertains through a variety of web, voice and mobile offerings. Founded in 1987, Lavalife Corp. markets its products and services across the United States, Canada and Australia. Lavalife’s open-minded approach to online dating allows singles to choose how they want to “click” by offering three unique and distinctive services in personals: dating, relationships and intimate encounters. Lavalife has attracted millions of unique members who exchange 1.3 million messages every day. For more information, visit
Current Offer: 15% OFF. Use the code #780121
*Source: Combination of comScore Media Metrix and Lavalife. Lavalife estimates that it ranks #1 in Canada when publicly quoted statistics are adjusted to reflect traffic assigned to other web sites.

** Source: Combination of comScore Media Metrix and Lavalife. Lavalife estimates that it ranks in the top 10 worldwide when publicly quoted statistics are adjusted to reflect traffic assigned to other web sites.

20 million people visit at least one online dating service every month. What are they all looking for?

Monday, November 3rd, 2008

matchcom.jpgBy CAROLINE DOHACK

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Traditionally, we meet our partners through venues that serve as common bonds — school, work, church — or through family and friends. But as many are discovering, online dating has its own advantages.

Find your match How many fish are in the sea? Probably as many as there are online dating services. Here is a breakdown of a few of them:

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Yahoo Personals: Probably the largest dating sites with more than 15 million members. 7 day free trial.

Match: pioneered the internet dating industry, launching in 1995 what is now the most recognized dating service worldwide and today serves more than 15 million singles. Includes Christian, Jewish, Senior, Asian, Black, Gay dating.. Match has it all. Current Offer: 72 hours free trial.

According to data from Online Dating magazine, a consumer watchdog publication for online daters, more than 20 million people visit at least one online dating service a month, and more than 120,000 marriages occur each year as a result of online dating.

“Online dating is the best thing to ever happen to shy people,” said Joe Tracy, publisher of Online Dating. “They get to know someone via the computer, and then they feel more comfortable meeting them personally.”

Furthermore, there might not be many people looking for partners at those traditional meeting venues, Tracy said. “When you go online, you know there are people looking for the same thing,” he said.

Dave Evans, likens dating to job hunting. You still want to meet people, but you also look for other ways to make yourself known. “Your profile is your resume. You want to get out there and share it,” Evans said.

Online dating also gives people the chance to search for people with similar interests.

“If you’re the type of person who dresses up as a Klingon on Halloween and you actually know the Klingon language, you can find somebody who matches those exact interests,” Tracy said.

And for many, finding a partner with similar interests and attributes is important. Researchers at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology found that online daters often seek partners with qualities similar to those they reported on their own profiles. It’s not that people are looking for carbon copies of themselves. Rather, they want to feel comfortable with a potential partner. Someone with blue eyes won’t be going outside his or her comfort zone by dating someone with brown eyes, the study said, but smokers might have a more vested interest in seeking other smokers.

But getting outside those comfort zones opens up more possibilities. Maybe you like hip-hop, and she likes classical music. “Does that mean we’re not right for each other?” Evans said.

Still, some people prefer niche dating services, which narrow the selection by focusing on a hobby, lifestyle, religion or other aspect of life. For instance, is a popular site for Jewish singles.

What kind of dating site is best for you? Consider your goals. If you’re just looking for something casual, free services such as Yahoo! Personals have the most users. But for those seeking serious, long-term relationships, paid sites such as tend to attract like-minded people.

Once you decide on a site, here are some tips for making the connection:

● Get a new e-mail address specifically for online-dating correspondence, and don’t use your full name. You don’t want anyone using that information to track you down.

● For safety’s sake, don’t include identifying information such as phone number, last name or place of employment. If you have children, don’t post their photos or include too much information about them. “You’re putting this information out, and anybody in the world can read it,” Tracy said.

● Post a photo, preferably one that actually looks like you. Researchers at the University of Chicago found women who posted photos received twice as many e-mails than those who did not, and men who posted photos received 50 percent more e-mails.

● Write for whom you hope to attract. If you value a sense of humor, convey it through your profile. If you like a certain genre of movies, include little references. Your best matches will understand what you mean.

● Avoid clichés. This will help you stand out. “What people don’t realize is you’re seen in a series,” Evans said. “I’ve looked at 20 women before you, and I’ll look at 20 women after you.”

● Be truthful. You never know when a lie will come back to bite you.

● Be positive. Statements like “my last relationship left me emotionally scarred and cynical” won’t get you anywhere.

● Use spell-check.

Finally, if you’re worried about being judged for looking online, a survey by the Pew Internet & American Life Project Report found that only 29 percent of Internet users surveyed believe online daters “are in dire dating straits.” But these respondents, according to the report, tend to have less online experience and are less trusting of people in general.

Most view online dating as a way to use technology to enhance their lives.

“It’s another arrow in the quiver of opportunities to meet somebody,” Evans said.

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eharmony2.jpgSingle mom Melanie Holt says getting back into the dating game wasn’t like an eHarmony or commercial. Four years ago, her friends had to convince her to call the man she’s still dating now.

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We both weren’t looking for a relationship,” Holt says.They each have two children and were cautious about introducing them to one another.”We’ve tried to make decisions in our relationship based on what would be best for our children,” Holt, 39, says.

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“We talked about when it would be right for our children to meet. The kids don’t ask for this situation, so you want to make it a healthy environment for them.”Holt, who lives in Jackson, Tenn., started dating after she and her husband of 10 years divorced. After the divorce, it took about two years for her to go on a date.

She’s protective of her children, who are now part of a blended family since her ex-husband remarried.

Dating with children can be complicated, Holt says.

“We’re trying to find a balance between our children, their schedule, our work schedule and just normal household stuff,” she says.

And finding that balance can be difficult for divorced single parents. A reality series on the Learning Channel last summer called “Must Love Kids” followed three single moms in their 30s and highlighted the challenges of finding a partner when children are involved.

“A lot of people don’t know what goes on behind the scenes for a single parent,” says Stacy Kaiser, a relationship expert and psychotherapist from Los Angeles. “It’s not easy.”

Single parents shouldn’t introduce their children to someone they’re dating unless the relationship is headed in a long-term direction, says Kaiser, who is a single mother of two.

“If you have doubts about the relationship, it’s not fair to bring the children into it, because they’ll grow attached to the person you’re dating,” Kaiser says.

Also, introducing your child to the person you’re dating can be awkward for him, she says.

“It can put a lot of stress on kids and make them feel anxious,” Kaiser says. “For a child, their world is about them. They end up wondering ‘How is this going to impact me?’ and ‘How is my life going to change?’ “

Putting kids first

When Holt dated a man who didn’t have children, he wasn’t understanding, she says.

“When he called, he seemed demanding and less understanding because he wanted to spend time with me when I had my children to take care of,” Holt says.

Kaiser says most adults who don’t have children are used to putting themselves first instead of a child.

“Another issue that comes up with this is if your child doesn’t like the person you’re dating and they’re mean to him,” she says. “Don’t force the person you’re dating on your child. You can’t force your child to like someone you like, just like you can’t force someone you like to like your child.”

Holt’s children seem comfortable with her dating situation. She keeps her children first and lets them know that the person she’s dating will never take their place in her life, she says.

Kaiser says children can feel threatened by their parent’s relationship.

“They’re worried they’ll lose their parents to that relationship or have less time with their parents,” she says.

Learning to date

Pamela Perry, a single mother of two in Jackson, describes her dating experience as different.

She’s been single for four years after divorcing her husband.

“I never really dated,” Perry, 44, says. “I met my husband in college, and bam, that was it.”

Her children are now 19 and 23.

“They’re pretty good about letting me make my own choices about the men I date,” Perry says. “I’m trying to find someone who’s not into playing games when it comes to a relationship, someone who is honest.”

For single parents learning how to date, Kaiser suggests seeking friendships with the opposite sex first.

“Get involved in hobbies, classes where you’re socializing with men but not forced to go on a date that can be scary,” she says.

Blind dates aren’t a bad idea either, Kaiser says.

“That way, whoever you’re getting fixed up with comes with a reference,” she says.

Perry dated someone for two years after her divorce.

“A lot of men now are afraid to commit themselves, not necessarily to settle down but to a relationship,” she says.

But Perry doesn’t plan to call it quits on dating just yet.

“I’m going to keep on chugging along until I find that person,” she says.

More dating websites